Ninja Poof #2 (Shagged City)

Dear Diary,

It's been a month since we reached the top of the asylum. I've resisted writing about what transpired there because we've been so busy since our return. Things are finally quiet enough that I can devote some good quality time to this journal. So ... where shall I begin? Hum, let's see ... we were climbing a ridiculously long series of stairs, peeking in at all sorts of asylum inmates (for fun, you understand). After reaching the top, we discovered a pair of nasty beasts guarding Adimarcus' large, crummy looking cage. One of the guards was a cobbled together horror, made from what looked to be demonic bits. Oh, he was a smelly one! We've had a good number of those lately, but this was so much more insidious somehow. It really clings to one's nose, and I can't seem to find a bloody cleric who can remove the damnable stink from the back of my throat. So much for divine magic.

Adimarcus was bloody well insane. I gather he was much better looking some number of years ago, and probably a bit more of a conversationalist too. Indigo smashed the cage and lets the poor weepy bastard out, and what does he do? Well, naturally, after being imprisoned for that long, he turns into a large, slimy, tentacled man-blueberry. So we fight him as best we can, since it's clear he doesn't want to just drop to the floor and let me finish him in his sleep. Damn shame, dragging it out like that, but my friends and I are always glad to oblige when someone doesn't want to cooperate.

It wasn't really so bad, not at first. He wanted me to join him, which was a lot less tempting than you might think. See, I knew he had no intention of letting me be the one true Lord of Ocipidus. Silly fool actually believed he'd run things better than I would. If there's one thing I despise, it's arrogance in someone who can't back it up, so we beat the stuffing right out of him!

And then, as we're all licking our wounds and whatnot -- the bastard changes into his old self! Not only that, but he's telling me and Indigo that we're his enemies or some such nonsense! I told you he was looned out. He wanted to come after me, but I'm too good at what I do. So, naturally, he chose the second most dangerous person in the group to pick on: Indigo. There couldn't have been a worse target, really. That girl's too damn tough, and very nearly as tricky as I am.

So we beat him. Again. This time, as we're dusting ourselves off, and cautiously congratulating each other on a job well done, Adimarcus changes yet again! Into a bloody, broken corpse!

He vanished a few moments later, but we kind've figured that would happen. Naturally, he was drawn back to "his" plane, which is where we had to go in order to end this nonsense for good. We found him, sleeping and slowly resurrecting, in his dear little muck-heap of Ocipidus. I'm surprised Barak wasn't bothered when I offered to deal the killing blow. To his credit, though, he blanched some when I suggested poisoning my blade "just in case the cut to the jugular doesn't work." Poor, poor fellow! Thank whatever silly gods we're supposed to believe in that he's finally got something entertaining to do on cold, lonely nights. I'm sure Barak and Jenya's wedding will be positively lovely ... and positively boring. I'm told I have to be the best man, but I will not be wearing expensive, impractical clothes. If they insist, I'll have to do something oncouth, like stripping them off midway through the ceremony. Maybe the threat of a nude ninja will help keep them from trying to force a dress code on me.

Speaking of dresses, I do hope our dwarf friend shows up in his very best winter green ensemble. He really enjoys those women's clothes! Such an odd duck, but quite nimble for someone with his girth. I'll try to write more about him in the next entry.

Oh, dear, there's someone knocking on my door again. So bothersome, being the greatest hero of one's age ... I prefer the anonymity that comes with being smart enough to keep one's nose out of heroics-related ventures. I still say I'm not cut out for this sort of nonsense, but Barak won't have my talk of leaving again.

I'm off to another exciting day of tedium and hard physical labor! Don't wait up!

=+= Slade =+=